Oct. 27th, 2008

desertions: (Getting Lost In The Rain)
The downside of going to bed early is my body wakes up so god damn early from it, even though I'm tired. Hurrr, 6:30 am? Do not want, do not want, do not want.

Ah well, watched more Kaiba, read more of the archives of Striptease and I read Lysistrata for class, so I suppose I can't say I didn't use the time productively.

Thinking about alot of stuff. Long weekend was long. And yet, I don't see myself talking about most of it. Kind of pissed off still at a few people, but no point in starting up the drama again, so I'll keep my pretty little mouth shut (and oh what a pretty mouth it is) and try not to punch a wall.

Other things seem to be looking up though...I don't know, I don't want to get my hopes up. There are still so many things I want to ask, but I find myself too...something.

When did I become so pessimistic and jaded? I don't remember always being this way. Hnn.

Nausea and sickness still strong with this one. Guess I should skip breakfast this morning, just to be safe. Don't want to run out of class to throw up or something. That's never fun.

But despite that, gonna try to make it a good day. Things I can be glad about:
1) My acting class, it's almost always really entertaining.
2) Heroes tonight
3) Halloween on Friday. I got my yukata from home to wear for the anime club's party. Should be fun.

Sounds like despite the horribly hot weather, I might get my rain this week. I can only hope.

I think I'll try to redye my hair sometime this week.
desertions: (I Love This Game)
1. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love or interest in at some time in your life.
2. Have your f-list guess your favorite character from each item.

1. Saiyuki (Easy one is easy :| ) Gojyo, guessed by Suu
2. Fruits Basket Rin, guessed by Suu and Char
3. Harry Potter Sirius, guessed by Suu
4.Revolutionary Girl Utena Touga guessed by Char
5. Heroes Sylar guessed by Suu
6. Scrubs Elliot guessed by Suu
7. The Vampire Chronicles Lestat guessed by Suu
8. Reborn
9. Bleach
Soifon guessed by Suu
10. X-Men Storm guessed by Suu
11. DC Universe
12. Loveless
13. Hanakimi
14. Hot Gimmick Ryoki guessed by Suu
15. Phoenix Wright
16. DBZ (Don't judge me :| ) Vegeta guessed by Suu
17. Final Fantasy X/X2
18. Kingdom Hearts/CoM/II Namine guessed by Suu
19. Tenchi Muyo
20. Sailor Moon
desertions: (But you can't keep me down)
Thought the mood was better today.
Ahur, thought wrong.

Aggression and such is still rather high. And I'm still sick and have to go to classes, so that makes all the bullshit more fantastic. Really. I try to be supportive, but Jesus Christ, even if I have limits of what I can find sympathetic.

I don't know, doesn't seem worth it to care about people who can't care for themselves. Or help themselves, for that matter. I am not your therapist, I am not your crutch, I am not your savior. I'm just...I don't even know. I feel like a hypocrite, in someways. Guess I shouldn't offer to listen as much as I do or...something. I don't know. It normally doesn't bother me, but after Saturday's little stunt, I'm having a harder time just filtering it. It takes alot to actually anger or get to me these days, but once you do? Yeah, I guess I'm bad at just letting things go.

I'm really just trying to bite my tongue before I say something really horrible like I do when I get like this.

Vague and yet specific enough that I wonder if I should filter it. But fuck it, I don't feel like setting up a new filter.

Maybe getting out as much as possible this week is a good idea. Distance before I seriously blow up.
Maybe I should just go to bed early, though I really don't feel like getting up at fucking six in the morning again.


desertions: (Default)

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