Nov. 2nd, 2008

desertions: (Just Before We Do I Will Walk Away From)
The more I hear about the situation with my cousin Danica, the more worried I become. When we were younger, we used to be so close...but years passed, and things happened, and now she's spiraled so out of control, it's like I barely recognize the girl I used to play with all the time now.

She left her husband, which is all well and good, but she's still partying and doing god knows what. She was staying with my sister, but apparently she's been so unreasonable that my sister's roommate threatened to move out, and my sister can't afford that. So she's kicking her out, and all I can wonder is, where is she going to go?

Her mother doesn't have space. She already took back in both her other daughters, and has a family friend staying with her. Uncle Eric is the last person Danica is going to ask for a place to stay with, and I doubt he'll come through anyways. He's a bum.

My grandma would like to help, but she has a minor with her, and doesn't want to put Ciarra at risk. That makes sense. Besides, we're pretty sure Danica is doing harder drugs than pot, and if she gets caught with that stuff, my grandma could lose her license. It makes sense that she wouldn't want to take those risks, and I'm proud of her for setting those sort of limits for once.

But it still raises the question, where will Danica go? My sister thinks she needs to be in some kind of home or program, but Danica doesn't want to go to one, and even if she did, she has no money, and neither do the rest of to put her in one. So it's kind of a fucked up situation.

I wish there was something I could do. I feel like all I can do is sit and watch her fall apart. I feel so...powerless. It's frustrating. It's a situation that's been spiraling out of control for years, and while I've tried to be there for her, there's only so much you can do to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

My biggest fear is that if she doesn't find someplace else to go, she might go back to Sean. And that would be even worse. I'm pretty sure he's the one who got her into harder drugs to begin with. Not to mention he's a manipulative asshole, completely fucked up, and he was fucking hitting her. I was really surprised when I heard she was going to file for divorce from him, it seems like the first small step towards...I don't know what, but something better.


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