Nov. 29th, 2008

desertions: (But you can't keep me down)
Since I can't go back to sleep, have a meme:



In other news I think I've talked to my sister more in the past few days then I my whole life. I dunno, it's strange. Things keep being brought up that I don't want to think about. I just want them shoved back in the corner, those nagging thoughts I've had since I found out the truth about my mom. These talks of ours don't help with that.

At least drinking with Wendy, Alexis and Ciarra was alright. Even if I did make everyone awkward with my drunken offensive statement about my aunt's dead baby. Sad thing is? Probably would have said it even if I was sober. I don't know what that says about me.

I got like four hours of sleep again. Sharing a room with that many people and feeling like I can't even get up to piss without pissing five cousins off? Not a good sleep environment. Especially the corner I was shoved in last night. My body is so sore, it's not funny. I just want to go home.

This trip is draining. I need to start memorizing those lines for my class on Monday. Maybe I'll stay behind today. I don't know why, but being around my family for any long period makes me feel so..awkward. I just get tired of all the jabs at the things that interest me, like I really am some kind of...I dunno, freak or something. Just because I prefer comics and anime over shopping. Because I'd usually rather stay in than go out. That I've been lied to for most of my life because everyone sees me as this fragile, breakable fucking thing.

It just brings out the worst in me...this bitterness and jealousy that I just don't like.

Too much thinking about other things as well, but I just..I don't know.


desertions: (Default)

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