desertions: (It's a big big world and I'm a big big g)
Katiepants ([personal profile] desertions) wrote2017-05-08 09:50 pm

So Believe In Me, Believe That I'll Let You Down

Is anybody out there?

I haven't updated in a while. I probably won't cross post to LJ anymore because that new user agreement is y i k e s. Anyway. It's been a while. A lot has happened and hasn't all at once. For the past two months are so I've been in almost constant, chronic pain. My hands have been swollen and aching and we can't seem to figure out what's wrong with me. The blood tests and xrays have all come back negative. I had an MRI done recently but I haven't heard the results yet. I don't feel like the rheumatologist I'm seeing is taking me very seriously and it's very frustrating. Very simple, every day things have become really difficult for me. I wake up in the morning and have to take at least twenty minutes just getting my fingers to a point where they can move.

It's really difficult.

It's not been the ideal situation for studying my exams but I'm managing the best I can. I'm worried things are going to be a repeat from last year, I feel like I'm still dragging myself out of that dark place and I don't want to end up there again.

We're also moving soon, finally. We found a place and it's nice enough. I feel bad there isn't a yard for Fynn. I feel bad about a lot of things.

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I don't feel bad about that. I'm excited, honestly. My 20s kinda sucked overall anyway.

I don't know. I'm having a lot of feelings and not really the time or brainpower to process them at the moment.
stainofmylove: (ng; cece/jess; marshmallows and promises)

[personal profile] stainofmylove 2017-05-09 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, it is so nice to hear from you! Welcome to Dreamwidth! It's another dead zone, but I dream someday it might be slightly less dead than LJ???

I'm so sorry to hear about your health issues. It's strange, because as a teenager I actually had similar problems with my hands swelling for seemingly no reason. It's part of what lead to the eventual diagnosis of my prolactinoma ... have you seen an endocrinologist lately? Just a shot in the dark. I know what you mean about doctors not taking you seriously--it's the fucking worst :( Have they gone on a tirade about how if you lost weight you'd magically be cured of all ills? That's my experience and it makes me fuckin nuts!!! If you ever wanna bitch about that sort of thing, I'm here for you.

Good luck on your exams. Do you feel at a better place for them this year despite the health stuff?

Hello, 30, flirty, and thriving <3
stainofmylove: (ng; cece/jess; marshmallows and promises)

[personal profile] stainofmylove 2017-05-09 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I miss active journalbased fandom communities.

I know it's been said a million times, but THIS. So do I.

It might be worth a chat about seeing an endocrinologist. It's definitely an avenue when you've got weird shit going on with your body and issues managing weight and other hormone stuff.

almost everyone I know assuming I had diabetes because I'm overweight despite the fact that all my bloood sugar tests have come back normal. It's fucking terrible.

Mmmhmmm. Like, my blood sugar is fine, my cholesterol is fine, my blood pressure is fine, NOW LOOK AT ME LIKE A HUMAN FFS.

I wish you so much luck with your studies. Maybe I'm biased but I think you deserve all the good things.

Edited 2017-05-09 21:38 (UTC)