desertions: (It's a big big world and I'm a big big g)
Katiepants ([personal profile] desertions) wrote2017-05-08 09:50 pm

So Believe In Me, Believe That I'll Let You Down

Is anybody out there?

I haven't updated in a while. I probably won't cross post to LJ anymore because that new user agreement is y i k e s. Anyway. It's been a while. A lot has happened and hasn't all at once. For the past two months are so I've been in almost constant, chronic pain. My hands have been swollen and aching and we can't seem to figure out what's wrong with me. The blood tests and xrays have all come back negative. I had an MRI done recently but I haven't heard the results yet. I don't feel like the rheumatologist I'm seeing is taking me very seriously and it's very frustrating. Very simple, every day things have become really difficult for me. I wake up in the morning and have to take at least twenty minutes just getting my fingers to a point where they can move.

It's really difficult.

It's not been the ideal situation for studying my exams but I'm managing the best I can. I'm worried things are going to be a repeat from last year, I feel like I'm still dragging myself out of that dark place and I don't want to end up there again.

We're also moving soon, finally. We found a place and it's nice enough. I feel bad there isn't a yard for Fynn. I feel bad about a lot of things.

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I don't feel bad about that. I'm excited, honestly. My 20s kinda sucked overall anyway.

I don't know. I'm having a lot of feelings and not really the time or brainpower to process them at the moment.

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