Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2004-05-10 01:38 am
desertions) wrote2004-05-10 01:38 am
What Could I Do For You To Make Me Ok In Your Eyes?
Ugh...so not proud of myself this weekend
Guess I should start at the beginning
Went over to my aunt and uncle's house
Felt a bit uncomfortable, what with this being the first time since that family session...
Got into a lot of conversations about college and stuff and how they never have even tried to get involved in my life before
Cried...alot
So, later that night, me, my aunt's neice Erin, and my cousin Cierra went into the garage and started drinking Tequila and Beer
Now, I realize this wasn't smart, but I was depressed, and sometimes, you make dumb choices
However, the really bad part was...Cierra is 14
I felt so bad when I was thinking about it later...
Erin was actually pretty cool though, reminded me kinda of an older version of myself...
So we finally went to bed around 4 am, and I woke up at about 11
Got in more fights, cried some more, went to take a nap with Erin...
Woke up again around 3:30
Got into even more fights, my grandma was mad because I misplaced her present, among other things.
Cried a few more times
Went home
Searched for my grandma's present more
Still couldn't find it
She yelled more
I cried again.
I talked to Rachel for a while
Almost called Mitchell, but got caught up in other stuff
Probably better that way
I never want to be one of those girlfriends who calls up crying and whining and stuff...
But I do need to do prom planning, as it's this friday and stuff, so I will need to call him
Hmm...I also need to get his birthday present...
*sighs* For once I'm actually glad the weekend is over
Why do they want to control me so much?
Why won't they just let me go...
I want to be free so badly...
What do I have to prove to them?
Can't they see, smothering me will only make me worse?
I'm not even asking to go out of state anymore really, but they don't want me to go to residential college at all now
And it seems as if what I want really doesn't matter
Guess I should start at the beginning
Went over to my aunt and uncle's house
Felt a bit uncomfortable, what with this being the first time since that family session...
Got into a lot of conversations about college and stuff and how they never have even tried to get involved in my life before
Cried...alot
So, later that night, me, my aunt's neice Erin, and my cousin Cierra went into the garage and started drinking Tequila and Beer
Now, I realize this wasn't smart, but I was depressed, and sometimes, you make dumb choices
However, the really bad part was...Cierra is 14
I felt so bad when I was thinking about it later...
Erin was actually pretty cool though, reminded me kinda of an older version of myself...
So we finally went to bed around 4 am, and I woke up at about 11
Got in more fights, cried some more, went to take a nap with Erin...
Woke up again around 3:30
Got into even more fights, my grandma was mad because I misplaced her present, among other things.
Cried a few more times
Went home
Searched for my grandma's present more
Still couldn't find it
She yelled more
I cried again.
I talked to Rachel for a while
Almost called Mitchell, but got caught up in other stuff
Probably better that way
I never want to be one of those girlfriends who calls up crying and whining and stuff...
But I do need to do prom planning, as it's this friday and stuff, so I will need to call him
Hmm...I also need to get his birthday present...
*sighs* For once I'm actually glad the weekend is over
Why do they want to control me so much?
Why won't they just let me go...
I want to be free so badly...
What do I have to prove to them?
Can't they see, smothering me will only make me worse?
I'm not even asking to go out of state anymore really, but they don't want me to go to residential college at all now
And it seems as if what I want really doesn't matter