I Can Be This Unsturdy...

[desertions]

I slept in late today again, still didn't get rest
Went through a bunch of my stuff in my room
Started crying when I found these letters my grandpa had written me about how much he loved me...
I thought I lost those a long time ago, I mean he died over three years ago...
Then I talked to Rae on the phone for a while, which cheered me up a bit
But then while I was doing my laundry I found the shirt I wearing when Mitchell told me he liked me back, and started crying all over again
I swear, no matter how hard I try, I keep thinking and obbessing over this
I can't get him out of my mind
Rachel is going down to see them all tommorow for her birthday...
I want her to have a good time and everything
But part of me is really bitter, because even though I know it would be a disaster if I went, I still want to go
I still want to see him
Distaster or not
I miss him
Or maybe it's more the idea of him
I don't even know anymore...

I always told myself I would never let a guy get to me like this. That I wouldn't let love get to me like this. Guess I was wrong. Figures...

Song of The Entry

Somewhere In Between by Lifehouse

I can't meet
Losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomoroow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomoroow
I'm somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real just a dream