Cause I Swear That I'm Dying, Slowly, But It's Happening

[desertions]

I love my friends
They are supportive beyond believe
No matter what happens, how shitty I get, they always stand strong at my side
Yet, for some reason, it's not enough
I feel horrible saying so, but it's not
There's this hollowness that's settled inside me lately
And nothing they say can make it go away
I know they care and worry
But they can't fix me
Maybe I can't be fixed
I want to be fixed
I want to let them help me
But I don't think it's that simple
I wish it was
I'm tired of feeling so fucking messed up
I am tired of crying myself to sleep
I'm just..
Tired
I don't sleep anymore
In the past month, on any given night, I haven't gotten anymore then three hours of sleep
I can barely get through school
It's not that I'm depressed or suicidal or anything that concrete
It's just this vague dissastifaction that grows and grows
And I want it to stop
Right fucking now

Song of The Moment:

If Winter Ends by Bright Eyes

I dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart.
With heat to melt these frozen tears
and burned with reasons as to carry on.

Into these twisted months
I'll plunge without a light to follow
but i swear that i would follow anything
if it would just get me out of here.

And so you get six months to adapt,
and you get two more to leave town.
And in the event that you do adapt,
we still might not want you around.

But I fell for the promise
of a life with a purpose,
but I know thats impossible now.
And so I drink to stay warm
and to kill selectred memories
cause I just can't think anymore about that
or about her tonight.

And I give myself three days to feel better
or else I swear am driving off a fucking cliff.
Because if I can't learn to make myself feel better
how can I expect anyone else to give a shit.

And I scream for the sunlight
or a car to take me anywhere.
Just get me past this dead and eternal snow
'cause i swear that I'm dying,
Slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere.
Just take me there,
just take me there
just take me there.
And lie to me and say,
and lie to me and say
it's going to be alright,
its going to be alright.
Yeah you worry too much kid,
its going to be alright.