Black Heart Scarring Darker Still But There's No Sun Shining Through

[desertions]

Emotions are funny things sometimes
I should be happy for them, I should, if Kevin and Rachel can work things out, good for them right?
Then why do I feel bitter because he's my best guy friend and if she goes out with him, he won't want to hang out with me?
I mean, I don't like him that way or anything, he's like an older brother to me
But it still really bothers me, and I can't place why
I mean, they'd do things with me, I'm sure, but I'm afriad that eventually...
I'm going to feel like a third wheel
And it's just going to remind me of my own fucked up romantic state
At least it's fairly simple for them to work things out
I wouldn't even know where to start
Assuming mine's even fixable
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm bitter
Bitter and alone
I know I'm not meant to be happy, or to be loved
But still
I hate to be constantly reminded of it
So, here I should be happy for them
And all I feel is the bitterness of being left in the dust again
Is there anyone for me, the someone just for me?
I doubt it
I know it's not Mitchell, I know that would never work, not right now anyways
But I still long for something, someone, anyone
Is that so much to ask?
Why should I care?
Why should I trust?
It just leaves me in this constant agony....

You'd think I'd learn that things are meant to be this way

Song of the Entry:

Unforgiven II by Metallica

Lay beside me
Tell me what they’ve done
Speak the words I wanna hear
To make my demons run
The door is locked now
But it’s open if you’re true
If you can understand the me
Then I can understand the you

Lay beside me
Under wicked sky
The black of day
Dark of night
We share this paralyze
The door cracks open
But there’s no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still
But there’s no sun shining through
No, there’s no sun shining through
No, there’s no sun shining

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Turn the pages
Turn the stone
Behind the door
Should I open it for you?

Yeah
What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Sick and tired
I stand alone
Could you be there
’cause I’m the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me
This won’t hurt, I swear
She loves me not
She loves me still
But she’ll never love again
She lay beside me
But she’ll be there when I’m gone
Black heart scarring darker still
Yes, she’ll be there when I’m gone
Yes, she’ll be there when I’m gone
Dead sure she’ll be there

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Turn the pages
Turn the stone
Behind the door
Should I open it for you?

Yeah
What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Sick and tired
I stand alone
Could you be there
’cause I’m the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Lay beside me
Tell me what I’ve done
The door is closed, so are your eyes
But now I see the sun
Now I see the sun
Yes, now I see it

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Turn the pages
Turn the stone
Behind the door
Should I open it for you?

Yeah
What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
So sick and tired
I stand alone
Could you be there
’cause I’m the one who waits
The one who waits for you

Oh
What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Turn the pages
Turn the stone
Behind the door
Should I open it for you?
So I dub thee unforgiven

Oh, what I’ve felt
Oh, what I’ve known
I take this key
And I bury it in you
Because you’re unforgiven too

Never free
Never me
’cause you’re unforgiven too
Oh