Cause I Dunno How Long I Can Hold My Heart In Two

[desertions]

I'm Fucked Up, I Can't Do Anything Right. We Knew That From The Start, Why Do You Seem So Suprised?

Fighting with my grandma heavily again today
And my aunt left me messeges on my phone about college shit, mind you, she never calls at a time when she can actually reach me
I feel like no matter what I do, it's not good enough
My aunt rambled on and on my machine about how I need to be more responsible and stuff
Like they've ever been fucking responsible when it comes to me?
I feel like it's me against the world and no matter how hard I try
I can't win
I was going to finish up an RP spar with Sam tonight, but ended up getting so uberly upset that I couldn't think well enough to write for it
Sorry Nee-chan, raincheck me, okay?
I also found out that my aunt and uncle are having copies of my report cards being sent to them
Mind you, they failed to tell me or my grandma about this
Wanna know how I found out?
The school secretary asked me for the adress, that's how I found out
Which is fucked up on many levels, if you asked me
And I'm tired of dealing with them, tired of fighting
I just want out
Part of me wants to just run and run and run, get as far away from here as I can
School is just as bad
It's a struggle to do my homework everynight
Other shit comes up and I just don't have the motivation
But teachers don't understand that, they just harass me about my work
Most of my friends don't even notice anything's wrong, and if they do, they don't ask
Maybe it's better that way
Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion, like everything else
All I know is that for the third time today, I'm overwhelmed by tears

And it's times like these where I wish I could just...dissapear

Either that or get some kind of vengence, some kind of release....

I'm almost 18, they treat me like I'm 5 or something
What are they going to do when I can finally go out on my own
When they loose their hold?
When suddenly, I'll be able to make my own descions
Maybe then they'll listen to what I have to say

Song of The Entry:

Psychobable by Frou Frou

How did you get this number?
I can't get my head 'round you
Of course you're not coming over
Snap out of it
You're not making any sense

You couldn't be more wrong, darling
I never gave out these signs
You misunderstand all meaning
Snap out of it
I'm not falling for this one

If love is surrender
Then whose war is it anyway?

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

If you think that it's so damn easy
Then what do you need me for?
Just look at the state of you
Babe, snap out of it
You're not listening to this

And just for once could you
Let me finish my sentence?

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

Make no sudden movements
And no one will get hurt
You're not coming over
If you know what's good for me
Why would I be leaving you?

Now, I've had it up to here
Don't ever try that again
Why are you so quiet so suddenly?
Go on, have it
You're just dying to try me

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

So, what do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?