But The Lows Are So Extreme That The Good Seems Fucking Cheap

[desertions]

It's interesting how alone you can feel about a situtation to only find out how many people relate
It's almost comforting, in it's own weird sort of way
Yet at the same time, I hate the thought that anyone suffers the way I do
And it's not like I suffer all the time mind you
There are alot of times where I feel happy, and even a few when I've been so deliously happy that I forget my pain
But unfortunetly, they seem to be few and far between
I try though, I only get into my moody broodiness at home, most of the time
At school I smile and laugh, as I do with my friends
Ever the pleaser
I never cry in front of others, I refuse to let my misery bring others down
I'm stronger then this, I know I am. I have to be
Life has always made me be strong, even when it's been hard
And sometimes, it's really fucking hard
But I keep going, taking deep breaths, supressing the uneasiness that consumes me
I rarely feel calm in my own skin, it's like something's tearing at me inside
The tiny voice whispering to me my every mistake, and why I can't be loved
But I know, it can't be true right?
I just have to fight harder, take deeper breaths
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is getting up in the morning
But if I didn't, then things would never get better, right
They still have a chance of being better, right?
I want to make everyone who loves me proud
Make myself worthy of their love
Maybe, someday
Maybe....

Song of The Entry:

A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Sometimes in the morning
I am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs
I know I can't breathe
And I hope someone will help me this time
And your mother's still calling you insane
And I swear that it's different this time

And you tell her you give in
To the demons that possess her
And that god never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and
Feel badly for upsetting things
Crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide

And you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying
And sometimes when you're on
You're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence

But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be better
And you'll be smarter
And more grown up
And a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it
You'll go out fighting all of them?.