Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2005-02-02 02:45 pm
desertions) wrote2005-02-02 02:45 pm
And I Just Don't Feel Right And I'm Mostly Very Tired
Somedays I'm just too sad to stay at school
Way too much on my mind
So I end up unintetionally making myself sick
I hope I feel up to going tommorow
I really wanted to go to that Buddhist temple
Right now I don't want anything
To all RP buddies, Suu-chan included, I'm sorry
It might be a while before any good RP comes out of me
These funks are becoming more and more frequent lately
Not sure how to get rid of them
Things aren't going so well in my house right now
My aunt might be deported back to Honduras for two years
Which explains her erratic behavior lately
I hope everything works out for her
I just wished she wouldn't take all her frustration out on me
The new meds aren't helping, well, the Ablifiy isn't anyways
Not yet
I'm scared to take the Ambian
The one time I took it I could barely move
Freaked me out
Reminded me too much of the Gabitrol
I don't want to go to the hospital again
I want to sleep though
I feel like something in me is breaking again
Everyone says I'm doing so much better, but I feel like I'm slipping away
I think of things that I shouldn't be thinking of
I dream about my death alot, those are the nicer dreams
The worse ones are the ones that involve my family and friends leaving me
It's my worse nightmare to be alone
I don't sleep much really
And when I do it's never peaceful
It's so tormented, distressed
I can barely stay awake at school
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I stop this?
And don't ask me if I'm okay, I can already tell you I'm not
I'm not sure if I ever was
Was it all just something I made up to keep myself going?
Song of the Entry:
Tired by K's Choice
Show me where you found your faith and
Does it help you sleep at night
I am not that complicated
I just need some time
Because it doesn't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Life is easy when you fake it
Right until you realize
Your happiness is unrelated
To anything you have inside
And it doesn't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Every chance I get to distract myself
I won't try to convince myself
That there's anything for real or
That we're sure of what we feel
Quiet time is underrated
I still can't stand to be alone
That might be why I'm so unstable
Barely able to hold on
And I just don't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Of all the songs I love, I think this one fits me the most...
Way too much on my mind
So I end up unintetionally making myself sick
I hope I feel up to going tommorow
I really wanted to go to that Buddhist temple
Right now I don't want anything
To all RP buddies, Suu-chan included, I'm sorry
It might be a while before any good RP comes out of me
These funks are becoming more and more frequent lately
Not sure how to get rid of them
Things aren't going so well in my house right now
My aunt might be deported back to Honduras for two years
Which explains her erratic behavior lately
I hope everything works out for her
I just wished she wouldn't take all her frustration out on me
The new meds aren't helping, well, the Ablifiy isn't anyways
Not yet
I'm scared to take the Ambian
The one time I took it I could barely move
Freaked me out
Reminded me too much of the Gabitrol
I don't want to go to the hospital again
I want to sleep though
I feel like something in me is breaking again
Everyone says I'm doing so much better, but I feel like I'm slipping away
I think of things that I shouldn't be thinking of
I dream about my death alot, those are the nicer dreams
The worse ones are the ones that involve my family and friends leaving me
It's my worse nightmare to be alone
I don't sleep much really
And when I do it's never peaceful
It's so tormented, distressed
I can barely stay awake at school
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I stop this?
And don't ask me if I'm okay, I can already tell you I'm not
I'm not sure if I ever was
Was it all just something I made up to keep myself going?
Song of the Entry:
Tired by K's Choice
Show me where you found your faith and
Does it help you sleep at night
I am not that complicated
I just need some time
Because it doesn't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Life is easy when you fake it
Right until you realize
Your happiness is unrelated
To anything you have inside
And it doesn't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Every chance I get to distract myself
I won't try to convince myself
That there's anything for real or
That we're sure of what we feel
Quiet time is underrated
I still can't stand to be alone
That might be why I'm so unstable
Barely able to hold on
And I just don't feel right
And I'm mostly very tired
Of all the songs I love, I think this one fits me the most...