So Love Me 'Cause You Can And Not Because You Should

[desertions]

After all of this, I've been thinking back on past crushes and romantic situations I've been involved in.
I guess I'm trying to sort out my thoughts, or something like that.

And I've come to one conclusion above anything else
I never, ever, ever want anyone consider going out with me out of guilt
Been there, done that, and it's not fun
It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me
And in general, can almost ruin a friendship
I'm not that fragile
I don't need you to love me out of obligation
Love because you can, because it's your choice

I know things aren't perfect, and they aren't always going to turn out the way I want
Life is not like the movies, but I can deal with that
I don't need to be protected
Cause I'm going to be okay
I've dealt with sadness, and I've dealt with loss
And though I know sometimes it can be a long process, I truly believe I can overcome most things

When someone does eventually want to date me, I want it because they like me
And not because they feel bad for me because my life has been less then perfect
I want someone who wants me, that's all

And until then, I can handle being alone
The littlest things remind me of how good life can be
Rain, music, laughing with my friends, a good book, a fun game

And I realize, sometimes I can be alot to deal with
I try too hard, I try too much
I don't know when to let things be
But I'm trying to learn
I'm trying to get better at things
And if that doesn't count for something, I don't know what does.

Yes, sometimes, I get very afraid of saying the wrong thing
Of being myself
Of being alone
But I know that sometimes, I'm going to have to be alone
And if I'm not myself, who is ever going to love me for that?

Song of the Entry:

Every Time It Rains by Charlotte Martin

Every time it rains I listen to the sky
And wonder what's so great about sunshine
Everybody lives and everybody dies
And no one's gonna love you like I do

When it was getting dark
I didn't need a match
I never needed light to see you
You thought I disappeared
But I was always here
I could never get that far from you

Though I misunderstand
And been misunderstood
So love me 'cause you can
And not because you should

Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive

Take it as it comes
And take me as I am
I never was a good imposter
Well I know how to dream
And don't know where I stand
I'm willing to admit I try too hard
Stop playing with my heart
I'm waiting by the phone
Afraid to be myself
Afraid to be alone

Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive
And every time it rains
I'm gonna hide myself inside

I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive

Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive