Yesterday Don't Matter If It's Gone

[desertions]

It's interesting...lately alot of people have told me how distant I am, not in a mean way..just..well, it's true.
I am distant from people.
I don't mean to be...but I am
I generally keep most information about myself to myself.
And not because I don't trust people
Well...not only because of that anyways.

But I'm deathly afraid of making people awkward.
My past...the stuff I've done...the stuff I've been through, people get so quiet when I talk about it.
And then their attitude around me changes, most of the time
They act like I'm fragile.
Like I'm breakable.
But I'm not.

I guess that's why I hold back so much
And why I hold back so much with Vincent in particular
I don't think I could stand it if his views on me changed.

I just wish that when people looked at me, they saw what I am not, and not what I've been or have done or been through.

It's not me.

I change all the time. I can be vunerable, but I can be strong too.

I know what chains me down and what I can break free from

And I know that I want more out of my life then I have and I'm not afraid to fight for it.

Song of the Entry:

Ruby Tuesday by The Rolling Stones

She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright or in the darkkest night
No one knows, she comes and goes

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with ev'ry new day
Still I'm gonna miss you

Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained to a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost, at such a cost

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with ev'ry new day
Still I'm gonna miss you

"There's no time to lose", I hear her say
Cash your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time lose your dreams and you
Will lose your mind, ain't life unkind?

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with ev'ry new day
Still I'm gonna miss you

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with ev'ry new day
Still I'm gonna miss you