Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2004-11-23 01:21 am
desertions) wrote2004-11-23 01:21 am
I'm Willing To Go On But Not Alone, Not Now
Wee, not much happened in school today
Still have the cold of doom, aka Black Lung
But, emotionally, I'm still doing pretty well
I guess I'm finally learning to rely on my friends and letting them help me
And knowing that if things get worse again, they'll have my back, no matter what
I know this must seem simple, but for me, these are hard concepts to learn
I've been so closed off for so long, letting people in still feels rather strange and often scary
But I know I can do this
I know I can make it
And I know that if I need help, it's there for me
And if I need help, it doesn't make me weak
Sometimes, the hardest thing is to just breathe and take things as they are
But I'm trying
Believe me, I'm trying
And I'm not about to give up
Not ever again
I can beat this
I have to beat this, for my own sake more then anything else
In other news, got my secret santa name, and it's...wouldn't you like to know!
Oh, and I made my wish list and decided to post it here to for handy dandy access.
CDs:
How We Quit The Forest by Rasputina (Good luck finding that one though)
The Thirteenth Step by A Perfect Circle
To Venus and Back by Tori Amos
Under Rug Swept by Alanis Morrisette
Away From The Sun by 3 Doors Down
Raw Power by Iggy Pop and The Stooges
Low by David Bowie
Dilate by Ani Difranco
The Ugly Organ by Cursive
Commencement by Deadsy
Beautiful Freak by The Eels
Encore by Eminem
No Name Face by Lifehouse
Reload by Metallica
Left of The Middle by Natalie Imbruglia
Pieces of You by Jewel
Broken by Nine Inch Nails
Varpor Transmission by Orgy
Sleeping With Ghosts by Placebo
Take Offs and Landings by Rilo Kiley
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah McLachlan
All That You Can’t Leave Behind by U2
Mirrorball by Sarah McLachlan
Once More With Feeling by Placebo
The Idiot by Iggy Pop
Third Eye Blind by Third Eye Blind
Exodus by Hikaru Utada
Automatic For The People by R.E.M.
Reveal by R.E.M.
Out of Time by R.E.M.
Blood Sugar Sex Magik by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Origin by Evanescence (Find this, and forever shall I love you)
Wonder What’s Next by Chevelle
A Collection of Songs by Bright Eyes
To The Teeth by Ani Difranco
Tales of A Librarian: A Tori Amos Collection
Music DVDs
Tori Amos-The Complete Videos (1992-1998)
Tori Amos-Welcome To Sunny Florida (DVD with Bonus CD)
Tori Amos- A Sorta Fairytale (Special Edition EP DVD Single)
Fallen/Stupid-Sarah McLachlan
Nine Inch Nails Live- And All That Could Have Been
Sarah McLachlan: Video Collection 1989-1998
A Perfect Circle- aMOTION (with bonus cd)
Evanescence- Anywhere But Home
Tenacious D- The Complete Master Works
Movie/TV DVDs:
Ed Wood (Special Edition)
Trainspotting (Special Edition)
Greg The Bunny
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
Eternal Sunshine on The Spotless Mind
Chocolat
A Life Less Ordinary
Bend It Like Beckham
Spiceworld
Romy And Michelle’s High School Reunion
Interview With The Vampire
Fight Club
Anime DVDs:
Ghost In The Shell
Ranma ½ The Movie 2: Nihao My Concubine
Saiyuki (As much as I adore the series, I actually own none of it. So sad)
Gravitation: Volume 2
Weiss Kruez
Ceres, Celestial Legend
Read or Die
Armitage: Polymatrix
End of Evangelion
Books:
Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb
Away Laughing On A Fast Camel by Louise Rennison
Blackwood Farms by Anne Rice
Blood and Gold by Anne Rice
Stupid White Men by Michael Moore
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
Priestess of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Forest House by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Hey, choices are good right? I just provided alot of them for my Secret Santa or whoever else feels like buying me stuff (<3333)
Also trying to figure out a way to go to the LoTR party, even if my aunt's winter solistace party is that weekend
Maybe Briana (my cousin who lives in Orange County) can pick me up and bring me back
We shall see
Song of The Entry:
Believe by K's Choice
Bravely I look further than I see
Knowing things I know I cannot be, not now
I'm so aware of where I am, but I don't know where that is
And there's something right in front of me and I
Touch the fingers of my hand
And I wonder if it's me
Holding on and on to Theories of prosperity
Someone who can promise me
I believe in me
Tomorrow I was nothing, yesterday I'll be
Time has fooled me into thinking it's a part of me
Nothing in this room but empty space
No me, no world, no mind, no face
Touch the fingers of my hand and tell me if it's me
Holding on and on to Love, what else is real
A religion that appeals to me, oh
I believe in me
Can you turn me off for just a second, please
Turn me into something faceless, weightless, mindless, homeless
Vacuum state of peace
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
Wait for me, I'm nothing on my own
I'm willing to go on, but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything, but nothing seems for real and
As long as you're in front of me then I'll
I watch the fingers of our hands
And I'm grateful that it's me
Holding on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
I'm willing to go on but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything
Still have the cold of doom, aka Black Lung
But, emotionally, I'm still doing pretty well
I guess I'm finally learning to rely on my friends and letting them help me
And knowing that if things get worse again, they'll have my back, no matter what
I know this must seem simple, but for me, these are hard concepts to learn
I've been so closed off for so long, letting people in still feels rather strange and often scary
But I know I can do this
I know I can make it
And I know that if I need help, it's there for me
And if I need help, it doesn't make me weak
Sometimes, the hardest thing is to just breathe and take things as they are
But I'm trying
Believe me, I'm trying
And I'm not about to give up
Not ever again
I can beat this
I have to beat this, for my own sake more then anything else
In other news, got my secret santa name, and it's...wouldn't you like to know!
Oh, and I made my wish list and decided to post it here to for handy dandy access.
CDs:
How We Quit The Forest by Rasputina (Good luck finding that one though)
The Thirteenth Step by A Perfect Circle
To Venus and Back by Tori Amos
Under Rug Swept by Alanis Morrisette
Away From The Sun by 3 Doors Down
Raw Power by Iggy Pop and The Stooges
Low by David Bowie
Dilate by Ani Difranco
The Ugly Organ by Cursive
Commencement by Deadsy
Beautiful Freak by The Eels
Encore by Eminem
No Name Face by Lifehouse
Reload by Metallica
Left of The Middle by Natalie Imbruglia
Pieces of You by Jewel
Broken by Nine Inch Nails
Varpor Transmission by Orgy
Sleeping With Ghosts by Placebo
Take Offs and Landings by Rilo Kiley
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah McLachlan
All That You Can’t Leave Behind by U2
Mirrorball by Sarah McLachlan
Once More With Feeling by Placebo
The Idiot by Iggy Pop
Third Eye Blind by Third Eye Blind
Exodus by Hikaru Utada
Automatic For The People by R.E.M.
Reveal by R.E.M.
Out of Time by R.E.M.
Blood Sugar Sex Magik by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Origin by Evanescence (Find this, and forever shall I love you)
Wonder What’s Next by Chevelle
A Collection of Songs by Bright Eyes
To The Teeth by Ani Difranco
Tales of A Librarian: A Tori Amos Collection
Music DVDs
Tori Amos-The Complete Videos (1992-1998)
Tori Amos-Welcome To Sunny Florida (DVD with Bonus CD)
Tori Amos- A Sorta Fairytale (Special Edition EP DVD Single)
Fallen/Stupid-Sarah McLachlan
Nine Inch Nails Live- And All That Could Have Been
Sarah McLachlan: Video Collection 1989-1998
A Perfect Circle- aMOTION (with bonus cd)
Evanescence- Anywhere But Home
Tenacious D- The Complete Master Works
Movie/TV DVDs:
Ed Wood (Special Edition)
Trainspotting (Special Edition)
Greg The Bunny
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
Eternal Sunshine on The Spotless Mind
Chocolat
A Life Less Ordinary
Bend It Like Beckham
Spiceworld
Romy And Michelle’s High School Reunion
Interview With The Vampire
Fight Club
Anime DVDs:
Ghost In The Shell
Ranma ½ The Movie 2: Nihao My Concubine
Saiyuki (As much as I adore the series, I actually own none of it. So sad)
Gravitation: Volume 2
Weiss Kruez
Ceres, Celestial Legend
Read or Die
Armitage: Polymatrix
End of Evangelion
Books:
Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb
Away Laughing On A Fast Camel by Louise Rennison
Blackwood Farms by Anne Rice
Blood and Gold by Anne Rice
Stupid White Men by Michael Moore
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
Priestess of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Forest House by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Hey, choices are good right? I just provided alot of them for my Secret Santa or whoever else feels like buying me stuff (<3333)
Also trying to figure out a way to go to the LoTR party, even if my aunt's winter solistace party is that weekend
Maybe Briana (my cousin who lives in Orange County) can pick me up and bring me back
We shall see
Song of The Entry:
Believe by K's Choice
Bravely I look further than I see
Knowing things I know I cannot be, not now
I'm so aware of where I am, but I don't know where that is
And there's something right in front of me and I
Touch the fingers of my hand
And I wonder if it's me
Holding on and on to Theories of prosperity
Someone who can promise me
I believe in me
Tomorrow I was nothing, yesterday I'll be
Time has fooled me into thinking it's a part of me
Nothing in this room but empty space
No me, no world, no mind, no face
Touch the fingers of my hand and tell me if it's me
Holding on and on to Love, what else is real
A religion that appeals to me, oh
I believe in me
Can you turn me off for just a second, please
Turn me into something faceless, weightless, mindless, homeless
Vacuum state of peace
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
Wait for me, I'm nothing on my own
I'm willing to go on, but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything, but nothing seems for real and
As long as you're in front of me then I'll
I watch the fingers of our hands
And I'm grateful that it's me
Holding on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
I'm willing to go on but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything