desertions | It's Where She Lies, Broken Inside

n good news: I got my packet of art from Rae today
Twas awesome
Very much so
<3333 You muchly dear

Think I passed my Pysch test today, wasn't too bad

Found out that for my big thesis paper thingie, I'm gonna do it on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Wee

Okay, onto the not so good news
Aka, more whining from Katie

Okay, life is seemingly rather sucky right now

School sucks

And my family life, well, that's even more complecated

Still not talking much to my mom, though she's becoming less hysterical again, thank god
Found out some disturbing stuff though
Like for instance, when I was a little kid, even before my dad died, my mom tried to kill herself

She always says how much we mean to her, how we've kept her alive
Apparently, against her will.
I dunno, it's not really suprising, but still painful

I want to save her
I want to make her better
Then maybe she can help me get better too

But that's just a dream

The rest of my family barely notices how depressed/stressed/on edge I've been lately
So much screaming, and critizing
I'm trying my best
And it's not good enough

It's like they only care when they want to
When it's convient

I come home, the house is empty.
I come home, it's full, but feels empty
Everyone going to their own rooms, barely any communication

And do you see why I need out of here?
I can't get better in a place that keeps pulling me under
But I do want to get better, one way or another

Been crying alot lately, I feel so lost and alone
I don't know what to do, or where I'm going
I don't even really know what I want anymore
But I want more then this

I've been here before, but my patterns seem to repeat themselves
And each time I sink deeper, coming closer to my eventual downfall
And I don't know what to do to stop it

Not when I'm so alone

Everyone who cared is dead and gone
I'm tired of being left behind....

Song of The Entry:

Nobody's Home by Avril Levinge

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

I know alot of people dislike Avril, but those lyrics are hardcore, I can really relate to them
So who cares if a "poser" wrote them....
It's the lyrics themselves that count, really...