Is Life Good To You Or Is It Bad?

[desertions]

Man, I have such awesome friends
Seriously, I wine and bitch alot, yet when I really need it, you leave me the best advice/comfort
If it weren't for you, I dunno if I'd still be here

It's funny though, in here,, in my LJ is one of the few places I truly express myself

With even my closest friends, I tend to mask myself alot
I don't mean to, I just do
I guess it's cause I want to be strong for them
Help them
So I don't show how weak I feel
The few friends who have seen my masks drop usually seem pretty suprised

I've always kept things seperated though
There was how I was with my friends
How I was with my family
And how I was alone

I don't want to have so many sides anymore, to be so complecated
I want to figure things out, figure me out
Place my many peices together

I don't know who I am anymore, I truly don't
But I want to

I know what I wanted, what I've strived for
But now I'm unsure of if that's what I need

When I was younger I thought I'd be something bigger, better, by now
I thought I would of gotten over all these problems
In some ways, it's as if they got worse

Many things I thought I would be have snapped back in my face
But I'm unsure of why

Part of me wants to give up
Just let this win

I've been called depressed, bipolar, crazy, self destructive
I'm not sure quite what fits

But I'm going to find out
I will figure me out

And learn to love me
So others can meet the real, complete me

And hopefully they'll love her too

Song of the Entry:

Lonely Girl by Pink

I can remember the very first time I cried
How I wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside
All of my memories - good and bad - that’s past
Didn’t even take the time to realize

Starin’ at the cracks in the walls
Cuz I’m waiting for it all to come to an end
Still I curl up right under the bed
Cuz it’s takin’ over my head all over again

Do you even know who you are?
I guess I’m tryin’ to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
I want to be a star
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can’t tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?

Lyin’ awake watchin’ the sunlight
How the birds will sing as I count the rings
Around my eyes
Constantly pushing the world I know aside
I don’t even feel the pain, I don’t even want to
Try

I’m lookin’ for a way to become
The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen
Oh, nothin’ is ever enough
Ooh, baby, it ain’t enough for what it may seem

Do you even know who you are?
I’m still tryin’ to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Everybody wants to be
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can’t tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
No

Sorry girl, tell a tale for me
Cuz I’m wondering how you really feel
I’m a lonely girl, I’ll tell a tale for you
Cuz I’m just tryin’ to make all my dreams come
True

Do you even know who you are?
Oh, yeah, yeah
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Oh, I wanted to be a star
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can’t tell I can’t tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
I guess not, oh I guess not

Do you even know who you are?
Oh, I’m tryin’ to find
A rising dream or a superstar?
Oh, I have all these dreams
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can’t tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
No, no
Do you even know what you are?
A rising dream or a fallen star?
Is life good to you or is it bad?