How Could I Let Things Get To Me So Bad?

[desertions]

Well, my cramps have died down
Thanks to rest and Vicodin
That's right, they put me on painkillers for my cramps
I have never had them that bad in my life
But the show must go on, so to speak, and I have other things to worry about

Like where my life is going
I got the info about the classes I have to make up today
It's going to be hard, they're demanding alot
What if I go through all this trouble, and still can't graduate?
I haven't even thought about working on my service hours yet

Do I care?
Is this worth it?
I'm tired
I feel so old, I feel worn down
I get like this sometimes, but this time it's been going on much longer

I want something, anything
I want something that will move me
Make me feel great love
Great happiness
Great pain
Something worth striving for
Something worth dying for
Something other than this damn ambivolence

And I know it's just a phase
I know that eventually, this too shall pass

But I'm scared that the passing will come to late

I don't know why I let everything get to me the way I do
I can never let things go
I just worry and obbess
It takes such a toil on me
Yet I can't seem to let go
As much as I'd like to, I just can't

I know this is repetitve, I've said this all before, but these feelings plague me often
I always wanted to be perfect
Someone that could be loved and cherished
I never feel like I even come close to that goal
And while I do know there are people who love and care about me, I feel as if I don't deserve it

Song of the Entry:

Dying In The Sun by The Cranberries

Do you remember
The things we used to say?
I feel so nervous
When I think of yesterday

How could I let things
Get to me so bad?
How did I let things get to me?

Like dying in the sun
Like dying in the sun
Like dying in the sun
Like dying

Will you hold on to me
I am feeling frail
Will you hold on to me
We will never fail

I wanted to be so perfect you see
I wanted to be so perfect

Like dying in the sun
Like dying in the sun
Like dying in the sun
Like dying

I just discovered this song recently and it made me cry the first time I heard it. It's so beautiful, and so me.