What I used to think was me is just a fading fucking memory...

Ugh, today was bad
I got another book analysis back today
Yet another 68!
Why do I keep getting such low scores...
Bleh..
Who was I kidding, going into an AP class...
Well anyways, all through english class when we working on the inclass assignment this little voice in the back of my head kept nagging at me, reminding me of how I always screw up and how there was no point in me trying because I'll never do well..I always fuck up
Well, by the end of class is was pretty noisy in my head
And then we had class meetings, and well...the external noise did not help the internal one..
By the time I went out for break I was a literal wreck
My friends kept babbling on and on about winter formal and all this other shit and all I wanted to do was yell at them and tell them to shut the fuck up
But I couldn't do that..
So instead I just curled up on the bench and hugged my head, covering my ears and muttering stuff to myself
I spent most of the rest of school that way
Luckily, after school I had anime club, then went to borders, and then had play rehersal so that calmed me down
But that was still one hell of an ordeal to go through, in school none the less
I hate these stupid episodes of mine
I wasn't always this way
I swear I wasn't...
But I changed so much...
What the hell can I do?