Sometimes she wishes she was never born...

God I hate getting depressed like this
Yet it seems to be happening more and more lately
Me and my grandma fight almost daily now
it's come to the point where my grandma can barely seem to tolerate me. I know she loves me but I get this feeling that it's gotten to the point where she just doesn't want to deal with this thing I've become. Like it's come to the point where I'm too fucked up, she's tired of waiting for me to get better. My "illness" just annoys her now..
like today my sister had been cleaning through my room while I was studying with my uncle and found some old razors of mine and I was grandma started yelling at me cause I had "stolen" them from her..
I mean I think there was a point where she would of been concerned...but now things like that just piss her off..
it's kinda hard to explain...but I just get these vibes...
And my sister is around constantly now, and she's constantly judging me and every fucking thing I do
Like she has any fucking right
She can judge me when I abandon the finally for eight fucking years
School isn't much better
I can barely sit through my classes these days
And when I'm out with my friends at break I have to put this mask on, actling like everything is wonderful
And even when I don't, they don't seem to notice
And the internet, which was once my escape seems to depress me too these days
Espically after all this stan crap
Isn't there anyplace for me?

( This Song Kinda Describes How I've Felt As Of Late.. )

And I'll stop feeling sorry for myself just about now...