You Don't Know The Power That You Have With That Tear In Your Hand....

I was looking so forward to seeing him
That's what got me through all the crap that happened today
And when I got to his house, it seemed to start going well
I gave his family the chocolates I bought them in Hawaii, thus his mom claiming I would forever be her daughter (I was saving his present for later)
We all hung out, then we went to Norm's and stuff and lots of craziness ensued
If I was feeling otherwise I might even write about it
But then came the silent car ride home, and something was coming, I could feel it, but I didn't know what...
He broke up with me
I guess I should of seen it, in a way, I think I did
He was honest with me, told me that his heart wasn't in it and there were a few other reasons too
He wants to still be friends, which I think I'll manage, eventually
I can't hate him, as much as it hurts, I can't bring myself to hate him
Can I blame him for how he feels?
No
And at least he told me now instead of stringing me along
I could tell that it was hard for him, espically when I was almost crying, I could hear what I guess was close to pain in his own voice
So no, I can't hate him
We'll stay friends, and I'll get over this, one way or another...
Life goes on...one way or another
But right now it hurts like hell, and I need to mourn it before getting over it
You know...I think I may of dropped the pucca shells I bought him in his car, though I never gave them to him...
Oh well, either way, I had bought them for him, I wouldn't want to keep them...
I'm just glad I was able to hold back my tears until I exited the car, I don't know what I would of done if I had cried infront of him....
For some reason I could just not let myself do that...
In a way, I did love him, I guess in the way everyone loves their first significant other
And maybe, I put too much pressure on him, I wanted and expected alot
But it's too late for maybes....
So when I got home, I made some excuse for running late, said goodnight and went to my room, beginning to bawl
My eyes are still clouded in tears
Obviously, I'll need to tell my family eventually, but right now, I guess it's still soon and painful to say it outloud....

Song Of The Entry...

Tear In Your Hand By Tori Amos

All the world just stopped now
So you say you don't wanna stay together anymore
Let me take a deep breath babe
If you need me
Me and Neil'll be hangin' out with the dream king
Neil says hi
By the way I don't believe you're leaving
Cause me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream
I think it's that girl
And I think there're pieces of me you've never seen
Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And the tear in your hand
All the world is dangin'...
Dangling'...Danglin' for me darlin'
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in you hand

Maybe I ain't used to maybes
Smashing in a cold room
Cutting my hands up every time I touch you

Maybe maybe it's time to wave goodbye now
Time to wave goodbye now

Caught a ride with the moon
I know I know you well
Better than I
Used to haze all clouded up
My mind in the daze of why it could've never been
So you say and I say
You know you're full of wish
And your "baby baby baby babies"
I tell you there're pieces of me you've never seen
Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And the tear in your hand
All the world is dangin'...
Dangling'...Danglin' for me darlin'
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in you hand
With that tear in you hand