Cause It's Always Raining In My Head, Forget All Those Things I Should Have Said

I hate feeling like this
I hate going to a wedding and mostly feeling like shit
I mean it was beautiful, and Cindy looked so happy
But all I could think most of the evening was how alone I was
And probably always will be
No one is ever going to love me like that
And why the hell should they?
I'm a liar
And melodramatic
Whiney
Fucked up beyond belief
Clingy
Ugly
Hyperemotional
I have the temper from hell
But I still want that love, even though I'm pretty sure I'll never really get it
And this was the first time in weeks where I really missed Mitchell
Or at least what he represented to me
I'm not sure which anymore
All I know was I felt really lonely
And even though I had a sorta good time, laughing and hanging out with cousins and stuff
There was this sense of dispair that I just could not shrug off

Song of The Entry:

Epiphany by Staind

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
and feel it wash away
'cause i can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I've always adored this song, but right now, it's hitting closer to home then usual...