I Didn't Think I'd Scare Very Easily, But I Fear This Thing

It's funny how little things can tear you apart
How little things can make you trip over yourself
Tear you into peices
And suddenly, everything seems too hard to deal with
I've felt like crying almost everyday
I hate it hear
I want to leave this fucking house
But I fear going to school
I know I'm just going to get harrassed by my teachers again
Cause they never believe me when I get sick
I just want to curl up in bed and wait for this to go away

My aunt was silent to me all day
Not even noticing how much she hurt me yesterday
When she finally spoke to me it was about whether I had removed the glasses from my room
God, I know it's sort of a cultural thing, but still

And my uncle seriously annoyed me
Talking about how I need to stop being so stressed
Because they can't deal with how it makes me act
And supposedly if I continue he'll no longer have a wife

I told him not to talk to me about her
As she was way, way out of line yesterday

January is always a generally bad month for me
Too many memories
I can't believe it's almost been three years
It seems just like yesterday
I can almost feel the pills sliding down my throat

God, thinking about this is not good
Then again, neither is most of the stuff I generally think about

And that's why, even though I have strong feelings for someone right now...
I would never tell her
She needs someone more stable then me
I can be there for her, be a good friend
But I don't know if I could be anything better
I would just push her away
I don't want to loose her
Maybe that's why I always give her advice in her other romantic aspects...
Or something to that affect

Song of the Entry:

Again by Tapping The Vein

I am wearing this weight again
It cuts like it did then
It's consuming all my thoughts
And swallowing me again

And what you see is what's left of me
But I'm here
I didn't think I'd scare very easily
But I fear this thing

It is wearing me out and thin
Paralyzing me again
It was vicious all the way here
I am barely alive

And what you see is what's left of me
But I'm here
I didn't think I'd scare very easily
But I fear this

And I wish you love
With anyone else but me
And I wish you love with anyone

And all I can do I will do for you
If I'm here
I promise you I'll remember you
While I'm here

And I wish you love
With anyone else but me
And I wish you love with anyone

And I wish you love
With anyone else but me
And I wish you love with anyone

And I wish you love again
And I wish you love again
I am surrendering me
Surrendering mine