And I Don't Know If I'm Loosing, Or Maybe I'm Winning

Today wasn't too bad
Found out it was the only day we had of school this week
That was nice
I now have basically two weeks of vacation. Weee.
I hope staying home doesn't depress me more though
Speaking of depressed, I was rather that way during most of day
A long call with Meagen helped though
I swear, even in the darkest of hours, she makes me laugh so hard
Our conversations are so random, varying from the serious to the silly
I miss her so badly when she goes to Ohio, why did she have to choose to go so far for College?
But, with friends like her, even in distance, it helps ease this burden I seem to always carry
If only my heart could feel so easy more of the time
What if it's my fault that it is?
What if I'm the thing holding me back?
I don't know
My family never really gave me much guidance
I'm not sure where to go from here
I know I could easily sink to one of my low points, but what if I could reach a high one?
Perhaps it is not as out of reach as I think?
Such a notion seems silly, yet I can't help but hope there's truth to it
Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who I am
I look in the mirror, and don't recognize the person in the mirror
I speak and the voice sounds alien
How am I supposed to figure where I'm going when I can't even figure me out
I think I think too much
Sometimes I just want someone to tell me it's going to be okay
That I worry too much, and I should just let things be
That I'm not at fault for everything
And my best really is good enough
And it's okay if I fail everyonce in a while
I wouldn't even know how to go about letting things be
I'm used to carrying the world on my shoulders
If I unload this weight, then what?
I wish the answers were simple
But sadly, they are not
Things are never as simple as I'd like them to be
Damnit

Song of the Entry:

From Here by The Skills of Ortega

Feel what I feel
And tell me that I’m alright
Feel what I feel
And I’ll forgive myself
For I don’t understand
Why I can’t breathe
Close my eyes
Close my eyes
Feel what I feel
And tell that I’m alright
Feel what I feel
And I’ll forgive myself
For I don’t understand
Why I can’t breathe
Close my eyes
Close my eyes
I don’t know how it’s supposed to be
No one told me
And I don’t know if I’m loosing
Or maybe I’m winning
But tell me, where do I go from here?
I open my eyes and can’t believe
I don’t even know me
And I open my voice
And can’t find it anywhere
Where do I go from here?
Feel what I feel
And tell that I’m alright
Feel what I feel
And I’ll forgive myself
For I don’t understand
Why I can’t breathe
Close my eyes
Close my eyes
Close my eyes
Close my eyes

Bandwagon Jumping? Never.....

First 25 songs on a shuffle playlist, add 'in my pants', blah blah blah stolen from Suu-chan blah

1. Pearl Jam- Daughter (In My Pants)

What the hell..? Eww.. Incest!

2. Radiohead- Creep (In My Pants)

....Eww....Damnit, get out!

3. The Juliana Theory-As It Stands (In My Pants)

XD Awesome

4. U2- Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own (In My Pants)

Woo! Orgy!

5. Tori Amos-Power Of The Orange Knickers (In My Pants)

Sadly, that one makes sense. Fear the orange knickers though

6.Nine Inch Nails- Hurt (In My Pants)

...There could be so many meanings to that.....

7. U2- With Or Without You (In My Pants)

I think that speaks for itself....

8. Rasputina-Clipped (In My Pants)

...Owww....

9. Natalie ImBruglia- Torn (In My Pants)

Again, Owww

10. Nirvana- Pennyroyal Tea (In My Pants)

Well, that explains why it hurts...

11. Bright Eyes- Something Vague (In My Pants)

Tiny? What gave you that idea?

12. Tool-Cold and Ugly (In My Pants)

...Maybe I need warmer pants?

13. Blink 182- I'm Feeling This (In My Pants)

...Speaks for Itself...

14. Eminem-Like Toy Solidiers (In My Pants)

...I'm not even touching that one

15. Rilo Kiley- A Better Son/Daughter (In My Pants)

There's the damn incest again...

16. Limp Bizkit- Break Stuff (In My Pants)

O_O...Please don't....

17. Jack Off Jill- French Kiss The Elderly (In My Pants)

How 'bout no?

18. Rilo Kiley- The Good That Won't Come Out (In My Pants)

Impotence, anyone?

19. Chevelle- The Red (In My Pants)

...I should really have a doctor look at that

20. Garbage- As Heaven Is Wide (In My Pants)

Doesn't make much sense, but okay...

21. Jack Off Jill- Bruises Are Back In Style (In My Pants)

o_O Why are all the violent songs popping up?

22. Metallica- Hero Of The Day (In My Pants)

Mmm...Hero... >>

23. A Perfect Circle- Weak And Powerless (In My Pants)

...No self control, apparently

24. 3 Doors Down- Be Like That (In My Pants)

Oh yeah, that's how I like it....

25. Nirvana- Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam (In My Pants)

Why the hell is Jesus in my pants?!

Ah, Nostalgia.....

Man does watching reruns of Boy Meets World take me back
I used to adore that show
And now I really want the DVDs.
My birthday is less then a month away people! *hint hint*


You are Shawn!


Which BMW Character Are You?
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Weee...he was always my favorite
Okay, enough reminiscing for me right now