Not Everyone Here Is That Fucked Up And Cold....

Life can mess people up
I've seen it happen to many times
It made my mom crazy
It made my sister cold and bitchy
And it has similar effects on my grandma
I've seen people pull away completely from the world, convinced that all it will bring is pain
My own mother has tried to kill herself as an escape on many occassions

I refuse to end up like them
I notice this stuff coming within me sometimes...
And frankly, it scares me
I don't want to be cold
I don't want to always be a victim
I don't want the biterness that has begun to grow inside of me

So there's horrible things in the world
I'm all too aware of that
But there's something that's been shown to be alot lately

And that's the love in the world
My family may not show it, but I know that deep inside, they love me, in their own way
And my friends, they show their love all the time
I can call several of them, and know that if I'm in trouble, they'll help me any way they can

Still, bitterness sometimes takes over, and it's hard to rememeber that love
I'm trying though
Before it's too late for me

Song of the Entry:

The Warmth by Incubus

I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
But there's a cold wind coming from
The top of the highest high rise today
Its not a breeze cuz it blows hard
Yes and it wants me to discard the
The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So do you think I should adhere
To that pressing new frontier
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear
Should I hold my head up high
And throw a wrench and spokes by
I'm leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
Before you grow old

It Would Help If You Offered A Cure

Why?
Why now?
I can't handle this
My mom has to go to the hospital now?
And not the regular hospital, the mental hospital
I can't handle this right now
I want out
It's my 18th birthday in two days and my mother is the fucking mental hospital
Lovely
It doesn't help that I almost went in there myself like a week ago
It really doesn't

I'm not feeling so sure
It would help if you offered a cure
If I wait it's too late for the rememedy
I don't want to be me

Call if you want, I guess I could use someone to talk to, I'll probably be up all night