Stolen

( If You Love Me, You'll Fill This Out )

I Really Wish I Got To Say Goodbye....

God, I hate how memories can hit me in the stomach
How is it one minute, I'm fine, doing my work, sending music to friends, joking around
Then the next I'm sobbing my eyes out
Of course, it starts out small
First I start thinking about how finals are coming up
And that I was almost graduating
Then I thought about eigth grade, around the same time
And how horribly I treated my grandfather
A week before he died I complained about visitng him because of finals
Like the finals were that important?!
God, I miss him so bad....
It's been almost four years and it hurts like yesterday
I have so many regrets, so many things I wish I could change
What would he think of me now?
Would he be proud?
I've tried so hard to be somone he would be proud of
Someone who deserved the love he gave me
But I never feel like I do
I was so ungrateful
I thought he would always be around
I mean, he always got better, no matter what
He survived strokes, heart attacks, he was like Superman
And then he died
And I wanted to be dead with him
I know it sounds horrible, but it's true
I was miserable after he died, I felt like in all the important ways, I had already died when he did
That was one of the main reasons I tried to kill myself
I wanted so despretly to be with him again
I still do
I would give the world to just hug and talk to him one last time
And make sure things are okay
I never really talk about my grandpa
It's too hard, I miss him way too much
It may always be too hard
I can talk about my dad, I was young enough when that happened that it didn't hit me as hard
But my grandpa?
That one effected me
Oh God...
I just found the letter he wrote to me about why he loved me and all the things he'd change for me if he could
And I just started crying all over again

God...is it always going to hurt this bad?

I just wish we could of ended on a better foot
No, actually I just wish he hadn't died

Song of the Entry:

View from Heaven by Yellowcard

I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
Fly through my dreams
So i can hitch a ride
With you tonight
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life

Late night drives
All alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines
From all our favorite songs
And melodies in the air
Singing life just ain't fair but
Sometimes i still just can't
Believe you're gone


And i'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'llmake it through
One more year, down here

Feel your fire when it's cold in my heart
And things sorta start reminding me
Of my last night with you
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that i had gone up with you too

And i'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'llmake it through
One more year, down here

You won't be coming back
And i didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish i got to say goodbye

And i'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'llmake it through
One more year, down here

I hope all is well in heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that i find you in heaven
Cause i'm so lost without you down here

You won't be coming back
And i didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish i got to say goodbye