It's A Hard Day For Dreaming Again....

I am tired of feeling so god damned lonely
I am tired of crying every night
I feel bad that when a friend called me, trying to cheer me up, all I could do was sort of listen, I couldn't even talk
Every time I tried to open my mouth, I felt like I might cry again

I miss her
I miss her so much
And the holidays don't make it better
I was just getting used to having them without grandpa, and now it's horrible again
I want my mommy back
I would rather spend Christmas visiting her in a mental hospital then not having her at all

And what right do I have to complain?
I know so many other people who are going through things just as bad
I have some with possible cancer, dying parents, and one who just gave up her baby
What makes my pain so grand?

But I miss her
I can barely go an hour without thinking about her
I want my mommy
I want her to hold me and pet me and tell me everything going to be alright

And it doesn't help that I feel like there's some gap between me and some of my closest friends
I don't know how it got there, but it feels like it's growing
And it's probably paranoia talking
And the loneliness too, but still...

And the weather doesn't help
This dreary, grey, cold weather
I hate it so
Give me the warmth of summer any day

Song of the Entry:

Paint's Peeling by Rilo Kiley

The paint’s peeling off the streets again
And I drive and I close my eyes in Michigan.
And I feel nothing, not brave.
It’s a hard day for breathing again….

The heat is chasing off all your friends
And their scattered bodies part to the shore again.
And I feel nothing, not sane.
It’s a hard day for dreaming again….

I’m not going back to the assholes that made me
And the perfect display of random acts of hopelessness.
I wish I could stay here but I think we’re all ready.
I think we’re all ready….

And I feel nothing, not safe.
It’s a hard day for dreaming again….

Now that you’ve seen almost all of America,
All you can say is, “where is all the water?”
And the war has been over for years since you gave up.
And last night, where the road had started
And last night, when my hands were choking you.
Last night, when the room and your mood was dipping
And last night, when the ropes were pulling you in….
You said, “Hey, how could you love me this way?”
You said, “Hey, I think we’re all ready….”
I think we’re all ready.