I Cry, Cry, Cry, Then I Complain, Come Back For More, Do It Again

...So, I was in the bookstore today, and I found a stuffed Queen Celeste (Babar) , and started thinking of my mom and started sobbing there in the middle of the store.

I'm so tired of feeling left behind.



I leave for England in like two weeks.

Holy shit.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?


...Ignore this. Really. It's not like there's anything...I don't know.

I'm so afraid...I'm so afraid of everything

I'm so afraid the boy will realize how many problems I have, and run off

I'm so afraid I'm too attached already.

I'm afraid of being left behind again.

I feel like something big...something horrible is coming, but I can't stop it.

And all I want is for someone to hug me and ruffle my hair and tell me it's going to be okay
But they'll never know that's what I need, because I'm horrible at asking for things like that.

And my family is...my family.
Marla wants me to write about one of my manic attacks.
...I'm not sure if I can.

And more then anything, I realize how much I sabotage myself.

I HATE that.

Song of the Entry:

Glendora by Rilo Kiley

It's New Year's Eve, I'm in Glendora
I'm the only living person in Glendora
Headin' east on the freeway
I left my prom dress on the busstop in Duarte
I switch the rules, you take advantage
You know I always like to play the victim
And would you fuck me? 'Cause I'd fuck me
Am I your wetnap?
Freestyle walkin'

I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again
I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again

I'm on my way, I want to see you
You're in your bedroom with some dancers underneath you
I come inside, I hear the door slam
You tell me if I really loved you I'd get with them
They make me sick, you make me sicker
But I want to please you so I go and I get with her
I close my eyes, I think about me
I'm just your wetnap
Freestyle walkin'

I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again
I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again
I should find someone better for me
But Mom says we're born this way
Everytime I come over to your house
You just shit on my face
And you know it, you know it
You know, you know it really freaks me out

I drove for hours on bad directions
I arrive, there's something you forgot to mention
An afterthought, straight to the tabby
Sorry, Angel, went to Reno, happy happy
It ain't the rest, why do you Jenny
I'm in a booth it's almost twelve, your favorite Denny's
Another year, I need a sundae
I'm just your saturday
Freestyle walkin'

I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again
I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again
I cry, cry, cry, then I complain
Come back for more, do it again

(no subject)

Watching Titus and Grosse Point has improved my mood for the win.

So has fangirling Hakkai and Gojyo and their OTPTASTICNESS with moodpoisoning

And rereading some of MacHall, thanks to spacecat

I also think the shower washed away the emo.

Or something.



...I will never stop loving this icon.

SLIDE

'Ho snap.

Now I wanna watch Fight Club

(no subject)

So. Crack has helped cheer me up.
LIKE WHOA.

My Demyx muse is finally getting to play, and man is he a spastic little thing.

And Tim? He wins. Seriously

21:43:58) DeathsApples: is Simba in the manga?
(21:44:00) DeathsApples: XD
(21:44:26) snakeypervert: I'm pretty sure talking animals are unrealstic XD
(21:44:33) DeathsApples: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(21:44:42) DeathsApples: he'll use a machine like Stephen Hawking


That is all.

I Can Be Cruel, I Don't Know Why

This?

This me not caring.