Got Enough Guilt To Start My Own Religion

Hey there, sudden mood deflation.

I wish I could just stop this sort of thinking. I wish...I wish...I don't even know. I feel so fucking defeating sometimes.

I hate that things are so tense between us now. I wish I could make her happy. I hate how disappointed she seems at me about everything now. I can't help but feel like I'm letting people down again. I just..I want to make everyone happy. But I want to be happy too. And the two seem to be mutually exclusive.

I just...I can't help but feel like if I done more, been better, or more something I don't know. Things would be better, somehow. Everything's that wrong just seems like it's my fault even though logically, I know it's not.

There's just...I don't even know. I wish I could articulate how this all feels so I could make it make sense.

I wish I could feel logically.

Things Have Never Felt This Swell, I Have Never Failed To Fail

...Mood is even worse today
The last group session today just made me think of too much I've been trying not to think about.

Meh. Distraction time is go, me thinks.