i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry....

[desertions]

Ok ever had a day that started out alright, but ended up horrid?
Today was one of these
Things were semi ok at school, better then some days of last week
but then after tutoring, marla picks me up
she's in a bitchy mood
it goes downhill from there
I come home, and to my disdain, there is my grandma
And of course, ive fucked up
rooms too dirty, not putting things away, shouldnt be on the comp etc etc....
and of course, i started the argument
because i always do
so when she leaves run to the bathroom, and take my friend the razor
slice slice slice
my thighs are now just gashes
and im sitting here ananzling my relationship with her with a good friend of mine, and i feel like crying...
but i don't cry
its weak
i am not weak
the weak perish
and i'm too afraid