desertions | (no subject)

Rini chan dear, its alright, i ended up forgetting about the whole thing anyways *sweatdrops* I did have my first driving lesson though..and i was able to handle the clutch...and i got two cds...fun stuff..
It went downhill from there
First my grandma was mad that i had the lesson without her, then she started yelling at me bout a bunch of shit..i felt really triggered..but did i cut? Nope I called a girl from my group and had her work me through it...
Then later that night i was called into my grandmas room..
I figured, no biggie, this happens all the time, but then i saw all the other family memembers in there
and i knew something was off
it was a "confrentation" about my cutting
Marla and Holly Ratted on me!
And after Holly promised me she wouldn't tell my grandma...
I felt hurt..
Betrayed...
and even more triggered...
And apparently the trance i go into when i cut is called dissociation...
Great...
and now i'm all freaked because i dont know whats going to happen next
LAst time they found out, they said i would be put in a mental hospital if i countiued...
But so far the subject hasnt come up
and im sure as hell not going to bring it out in the open...