Won't Somebody Love Me For A Start? I'm Laughing As I Pray..

[desertions]

I had a massive LJ Post, and then, LJ ate it
Bitch
Anyways, the summary:
I'm tired of Sheena (my sister) always being there for her other half siblings (from her dad's side. We have the same mom, different dads)
But the one time I could really use her, she still can only focus on them.
Our mom just died and she doesn't even ask me how I'm coping.
All she goes on about is what's happening with James and Maylie.
And I should be okay with it.
I had come to grips with the fact that we will probably never be close a long time ago.
But it seems unfair that she has such unconditional love for them when she's always treated me so horribly.
I guess part of me will never forgive her for leaving me alone to deal with our mom when I was so young. Or the fact that she's never supported me on anything.
Or the fact that she can do no wrong, but I always seem to come up short in everyone's eyes.
When we were little, I used to want to be like her, I pratically worshipped her
I did everything she ever asked
So what did I do wrong?
Everytime I seem rely on someone, I almost always end up dissapointed


Song of the Entry:

Laughing As I Pray by K's Choice

As I'm walking through these streets again
I'm crawling
And as I try to live my life again
I'm falling down

Can you pick me up
Can you let it stop
Can you make it go away

Can you pick me up
Can you let it stop
Can you make it go away

Won't somebody help me, is it hard
To let me find my way
Won't somebody love me (for a start)
I'm laughing as I pray

Where is the road
I must look at the road
I must pray a little longer
Or laugh a little more