I Wish I Was As Half As Good As You Think I Am

[desertions]

So, I have my first two college tests today
And I'm a little nervous about it, to be honest
History of Modern Film shouldn't be too bad
But Health has me kind of nervous
50 true or false questions, and really complex ones?
God, I hope I studied enough ;-;
Even though I've been doing okay so far, I'm still afraid that this college stuff might be too much for me
I guess it's silly, but it's true.
I mean, I'm not even taking that many classes
Compared to say, Meagen's schedule, mine is a peice of cake
So why am I so worried that I'm going to fail?
I guess that's just how I am
I worry alot, and sometimes needlessly so
I mean, I've done all the reading, taken notes in class, and studied
I should do fine on those tests.
And plus, in my History of Modern Film class, I get to watch Psycho today
Ah, Hitchcock, someone who actually knew how to make good horror films
Unlike the crap that comes out these days
Speaking of that class...
I need to get started on my Director Paper
It's going to be on Tim Burton :3 (And no one saw that one coming, right? Right?!)
And it's due next week
As is the first draft of my play, that's only about half done so far
Must get busy finishing this stuff up this weekend
Must not procrastinate >.<
Going to the anime club's showing of Advent Children on Friday
That should be fun
I'm hoping I can make some friends through a couple of these clubs I've joined
I hate just going to school, and having no one to really hang out with
I feel so lonely this year, compared to last year where I had my little group of friends I saw everyday
And I know, making friends takes time, and it's only the beginning of the year...
But I would like some friends who live closer
Most of them are so out of the way, even if I could drive, it would still be hard to see them
It doesn't help that I'm not the best at making friends
Yeah, there are people I occassionaly talk to in some of my classes, but they aren't really friends
And I wish that this stuff didn't bother me so much
I mean, I talk to both Suu-chan and Meagen almost everday via internet or phone
And I love them to peices
And I do see some of my friends on the weekends
So why isn't that enough?
I don't know, maybe I just need to adjust to being by myself more often
Anyways, enough whiny emoness from Katie for today
Perhaps next time I shall picture spam my journal to show off the quality of my new camera

Song of the Entry:

Metal Heart by Garbage


I wish I had a metal heart
I could cross the line
I wish that I was half as good
As you think I am

But now that we know for sure they're telling lies when they say
No one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear
They say the world is round

Wish I was as big as you
You'd have to tell the truth
I'd be nothing you could hurt
Nothing you could use

But now that we know for sure they're telling lies when they say
No one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear
They say the world is round
The world is round?

I want to be dependable, I want to be courageous and good
I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true
I want to be a friend you can rely on you can lean on and trust
I want to understand so I can forgive and be willing to love

I wish I wasn't flesh and blood
I would not be scared
Of bullets built with me in mind
For then I could be saved

My sweet lord take care of me for I think I'm done
Kiss my mother on her cheek and lay my burden down

But now that we know for sure they're telling lies when they say
No one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear
They say the world is round
The world is round