Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2005-09-30 01:25 am
desertions) wrote2005-09-30 01:25 am
Let's Do Some Living After We Die
We found out what killed her
The autoposy results came back, finally
Overdose of several medications, accidental.
Which is what we had all guessed at
This wouldn't be as painful, if it weren't for the fact that medication had played a part in my father's death as well
And the date is set up for the internment
Next Saturday
God, it still hurts so much
I miss her so much
I know I keep saying that over and over again, but it remains true
I cry so hard another every day over the smallest things that remind me of her
When she was alive, it was so painful watching her
She was so fragile, so filled with pain, and I couldn't help her
Nothing I could do could ever make her better
And it made me so angry, to the point where it was hard to be around her
Now I would give anything to see her again
Just one last time, let her know I loved her
And everyone says I need to let go, of this pain, of this guilt
But I don't know how.
It just builds and builds, I keep thinking of more reasons to resent myself
I tried so hard, but it wasn't good enough
It was never good enough
But I would of given her the world, had I been able to
And even now, I'm hoping she's happy
I hope finally, she found some peace, some little bit of happiness
And maybe, someday, I will too.
And I just want all of you to know how helpful you've been
I know alot of my friends have been like "Well, I don't know what to say..."
But hell, the fact that you're reading this, listening to me, is enough
Like I've said to a million different people, I never would of gotten through that first week without calling Meagen every other minute
I know...it's going to take some time, but I'll be okay.
I think I eventually will be anyways.
Song of the Entry:
Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones
Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Let's do some living after we die
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day
I don't know why, but this song just hits my mood right now. I'm kinda digging the Charlotte Martin cover more then the original though
The autoposy results came back, finally
Overdose of several medications, accidental.
Which is what we had all guessed at
This wouldn't be as painful, if it weren't for the fact that medication had played a part in my father's death as well
And the date is set up for the internment
Next Saturday
God, it still hurts so much
I miss her so much
I know I keep saying that over and over again, but it remains true
I cry so hard another every day over the smallest things that remind me of her
When she was alive, it was so painful watching her
She was so fragile, so filled with pain, and I couldn't help her
Nothing I could do could ever make her better
And it made me so angry, to the point where it was hard to be around her
Now I would give anything to see her again
Just one last time, let her know I loved her
And everyone says I need to let go, of this pain, of this guilt
But I don't know how.
It just builds and builds, I keep thinking of more reasons to resent myself
I tried so hard, but it wasn't good enough
It was never good enough
But I would of given her the world, had I been able to
And even now, I'm hoping she's happy
I hope finally, she found some peace, some little bit of happiness
And maybe, someday, I will too.
And I just want all of you to know how helpful you've been
I know alot of my friends have been like "Well, I don't know what to say..."
But hell, the fact that you're reading this, listening to me, is enough
Like I've said to a million different people, I never would of gotten through that first week without calling Meagen every other minute
I know...it's going to take some time, but I'll be okay.
I think I eventually will be anyways.
Song of the Entry:
Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones
Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Let's do some living after we die
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day
I don't know why, but this song just hits my mood right now. I'm kinda digging the Charlotte Martin cover more then the original though