Feeling Like I'm Heading For A Breakdown, And I Don't Know Why

[desertions]

I don't know why...
But I just spent the last 20 minutes crying and murmuring to myself..
I feel like I'm snapping
And I'm not sure I care anymore...
I just want to be able to sleep for once
Sleep...
and maybe never wake up
I don't want to die,
I just don't really want to live
I want to ...stop..
this is too hard
I am too weak..

"Don't you fear?
Self will dissapear
Don't you fear?
No, I'm glad
I am the thing that wishes to die
All I need is a dispare
I want to be a nothingness"

That's from my wallpaper that I have on my desktop...
it fits how I feel...
I want to be a nothingness...
I want to disapear...
You can't feel if you don't exist,
right?