Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2007-07-06 03:23 am
desertions) wrote2007-07-06 03:23 am
And I Can't Breath With The Dust Of Retreat
...I guess at the very least, Suu is coming down this weekend, which makes me a million forms of happy.
I don't know if I'll see Vincent. He hasn't called me since AX. I know, I could call, but I always call. Fuck if I'm not always making the first moves. It gets tiresome.
I know he's shy, but this is wearing on me.
It doesn't help that he folds to my every whim. I can't handle that kind of power.
And I'm beginning to realize more and more about myself and this relationship which is making me question things.
And I wish I could better put these feelings into words, so I could actually explain it to people.
As much as I enjoy talking to him, I wish he wouldn't make jokes everytime I try to talk about something serious. I mean, fandom and jokes all great, but a relationship needs to be deeper then that. He thinks I'm this great person, but I'm not. I'm terrified of this pedestal I've been placed on. What if I fall? What will he think of me then?
I think I'm thinking too much.
I don't know what to think anymore.
I don't know if I'll see Vincent. He hasn't called me since AX. I know, I could call, but I always call. Fuck if I'm not always making the first moves. It gets tiresome.
I know he's shy, but this is wearing on me.
It doesn't help that he folds to my every whim. I can't handle that kind of power.
And I'm beginning to realize more and more about myself and this relationship which is making me question things.
And I wish I could better put these feelings into words, so I could actually explain it to people.
As much as I enjoy talking to him, I wish he wouldn't make jokes everytime I try to talk about something serious. I mean, fandom and jokes all great, but a relationship needs to be deeper then that. He thinks I'm this great person, but I'm not. I'm terrified of this pedestal I've been placed on. What if I fall? What will he think of me then?
I think I'm thinking too much.
I don't know what to think anymore.