Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2017-07-23 04:51 am
desertions) wrote2017-07-23 04:51 am
and still you call me codependent; somehow you lay the blame on me
still here
still katie
i just felt like I needed a change. superkappa was a nickname from someone I haven't talked to in a long time, I don't really feel like that person anymore. I liked this name and it was free so there you go. nothing too exciting.
I guess that's a lie. I passed my exams in the spring. I got my masters, I graduated. I moved. I'm looking for work. Things are finally moving forward again after being pause for what feels like too long. I feel like a lot of my feelings about things are still catching up with me.
I wrote a letter to my uncle confronting about some family stuff, he came back super defensively and it was kinda nasty and hurtful, especially because I spent so long trying to phrase things as kindly and constructively as possible and that same respect wasn't given back. It's hard, mourning the idea of somebody.
I'm sad. I'm hurt. Mostly I'm pretty angry.
Some of my poems are being published in a local literary magazine soon. I'm pretty excited about that. I want to write more creatively again in general. I have a few short story ideas I want to work on. i've been jotting down quite a bit of poetry, not all of it great, it's been nice to do that kind of writing again.
I've gotten really, really into Wynonna Earp in the way that I have not felt fannish over something in a very long time. Maybe I'll ever try writing fic again. Who knows.
still katie
i just felt like I needed a change. superkappa was a nickname from someone I haven't talked to in a long time, I don't really feel like that person anymore. I liked this name and it was free so there you go. nothing too exciting.
I guess that's a lie. I passed my exams in the spring. I got my masters, I graduated. I moved. I'm looking for work. Things are finally moving forward again after being pause for what feels like too long. I feel like a lot of my feelings about things are still catching up with me.
I wrote a letter to my uncle confronting about some family stuff, he came back super defensively and it was kinda nasty and hurtful, especially because I spent so long trying to phrase things as kindly and constructively as possible and that same respect wasn't given back. It's hard, mourning the idea of somebody.
I'm sad. I'm hurt. Mostly I'm pretty angry.
Some of my poems are being published in a local literary magazine soon. I'm pretty excited about that. I want to write more creatively again in general. I have a few short story ideas I want to work on. i've been jotting down quite a bit of poetry, not all of it great, it's been nice to do that kind of writing again.
I've gotten really, really into Wynonna Earp in the way that I have not felt fannish over something in a very long time. Maybe I'll ever try writing fic again. Who knows.
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You don't have to talk about it, but what was the family stuff? I'm sorry you didn't get anything close to the response you wanted from your uncle. That is a really sucky feeling. Is this the one you're close to that works on film/tv stuff?
I'm so happy to see you getting some momentum in your life, and that it seems like it's making you at least a bit happy, too. Is the lit mag something people not in your area could access? Would love to read / support you <3 I miss your writing very much, would loveee to see more from you.
I like Wynonna Earp, too! I don't have a ship in it which is what I need to be super obsessive lbr, but all the characters are great. Would read and comment on anything you write for it, do it! Lol. It's so weird to still be writing fic now, though, to be honest. Like, I'm posting for stuff I know that my past LJ friends who are on Tumblr like ....... but now no one ever comments. Ghost land everywhere, frankly, even on Tumblr.
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It was a lot of stuff, mostly stemming from the fact that my uncle owned the house me and my grandmother lived in until recently and he basically forced us out of it so he could sell it for money with little warning or support or acknowledgement on both the physical and emotional strain it had on us. He and his wife has also been offering to pay for me to go to this "school" they both went to for spirtial pscyhology that sounds more like a cult and is tens of thousands of dollars so it's just. A mess. He got really defensive, especially about the money, which was the least of my concerns in the long run. Yeah, this is the one I used to be really close to.
I am pretty happy about most of the momentum, honestly. And yes, it's an online publication so I'll be sure to send a link your way when it's up.
lbr, it was me finding a ship that got me super invested in it. But I do love the characters a lot in general too. And yeah, I can imagine it must be weird, the landscape for fandom has changed so much.
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♥
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Forgive my creeping on your thread with Krys above: Your uncle did you and your grandmother dirty, FOR REAL. WTF! Sorry he exposed his true colours.
In better news, CONGRATS on the published poems!! Would love to check those out when they're out.
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THANK YOU! I will be sure to pass on links once the issue goes up
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delayed review
Thanks so much for the link to your stuff. I truly appreciate you sharing these, in more ways than one. As someone who's long toyed with the idea of getting my own stuff published but simultaneously dreads having one's soul ~exposed -- hats off to you. You goddamn went in with False Credit. I wanted to pull out a short quote or two but the whole thing went off. And I don't personally relate with Stories of Ghosts and Diary, but that doesn't matter - all of it is unapologetically raw, powerful stuff.
Congrats again, man.
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Tbh it kind of happened out of impulse. I've often hemmed and hawed over exposing myself like that (especially with something like poetry which is immensely personal) and finally it was late one night and I couldn't sleep so I said fuck it and submitted them. I feel like False Credit was the accumulation of thirty years of being told the terrible things happening to be happened for a reason and I was so much stronger for them.
Thank you so much, your feedback means a lot.