Katiepants (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertions) wrote2020-03-20 10:50 pm
desertions) wrote2020-03-20 10:50 pm
But As Bad I Am, I'm Proud of The Fact, I'm Worse Than I Seem
Last time I posted, I talked about how I was trying to figure out the new normal -- well, it seems for now the new normal is self-isolation and a fucking pandemic. California is more or less under complete lockdown. I'm turning 33 this year, the age my dad died, and having a fucking pandemic spreading as that approaches, well it sucks, to say the least.
I was supposed to be visiting a friend this week. It was the one thing I've been looking forward to during the shit storm that's been these past three months, and I had to cancel it. And I get it, like the bigger picture and the health of society in general is more important, but man has my mental health been tanking. Especially since I'm on break between school quarters right now, so I don't even have coursework to distract myself.
I'm trying to find ways to keep busy. I've started doing yoga -- I've only done it two days so far, but I'm going to try to keep up and do at least five to ten minutes a day. I did my first D&D run on discord with some friends, and that was really fun. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but the free time and isolation gives me way too much time to start sinking into the grief that feels like it wants to drown me.
There's still more family drama going on around the inheritances but I don't even want to talk about it.
It's funny, everyone always tells me how strong I am, I don't feel strong lately. I feel like I'm holding myself together with badly sewn stitches, and any moment now, I might come apart.
I was supposed to be visiting a friend this week. It was the one thing I've been looking forward to during the shit storm that's been these past three months, and I had to cancel it. And I get it, like the bigger picture and the health of society in general is more important, but man has my mental health been tanking. Especially since I'm on break between school quarters right now, so I don't even have coursework to distract myself.
I'm trying to find ways to keep busy. I've started doing yoga -- I've only done it two days so far, but I'm going to try to keep up and do at least five to ten minutes a day. I did my first D&D run on discord with some friends, and that was really fun. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but the free time and isolation gives me way too much time to start sinking into the grief that feels like it wants to drown me.
There's still more family drama going on around the inheritances but I don't even want to talk about it.
It's funny, everyone always tells me how strong I am, I don't feel strong lately. I feel like I'm holding myself together with badly sewn stitches, and any moment now, I might come apart.