I want something else to get me through this semi charmed kinda life

[desertions]

My mom came over
it was kinda nice,
she was talking about getting an apartment when something hit me in my stomach
for years, I always thought my mom would get better,
better enough to get me out of this hellhole
take care of me
but by the time she's ready to raise someone,
I'm going to be all grown up
and realizing this...
Hurts...
I was crying on and off for the past few hours
it was like my last hope, dream...
and it's been shattered too...
I want to curl up in bed, and wake up
knowing this is all just a bad dream
all of it
or maybe not wake up...