It feels like you don't care anymore

[desertions]

I woke up this morning feeling really sick to my stomach
So I went into my grandma's room to ask her to stay home from church
That should not of been such a big deal
But she started to go on and on about how I needed to deal with this better and go anyways and how incosiderate I was being
Yeah, I'm real incosiderate when I go to church every week and don't say anything even though I don't really beilive in "God", because she and my mom do
It was such a fucking stupid argument, and it got way out of hand...
It's just lately I get the feeling that she doesn't give a shit what happens to me anymore, she seems so sick of dealing with me...
She says I treat her badly, and maybe I do need to work on that but does she even stop to think about how she treats me? About how she can tear down my senses until I feel like a pile of shit. She can make me feel like there's no use in ever trying because I will never, ever be good enough for her. And I'm so tired of this