Stolen from italianbaby out of boredem

Thirteen random things you like:

01) Chocolate
02) TIVO
03)Books
04) Anime
05) Movies
06) Poetry (writing or reading)
07) Lestat (Mmm...)
08) Music
09) My bracelts I wear all the time. Two have kinda broken :(
10) Angels, though not for religous purposes, I just find them soothing. Or something. I dunno...
11) Singing to myself
12) Laughing
13) Mitchell

Twelve movies:

01) Velvet Goldmine
02) Benny And Joon
03) Dogma
04) Edward Scissorhands
05) Lord Of The Rings: Return of The King
06) Trainspotting
07) The Princess Bride.
08) The Last Unicorn
09) Nightmare Before Christmas
10) Don Juan DeMarco
11) Ed Wood
12) Labyrinth

Eleven good bands/artists:

01) Garbage
02) Alanis Morrisette
03) Tori Amos
04) Jack Off Jill (But they broke up! *sniff*)
05) Scarling (JOJ's lead singer's new band!)
06) K's Choice
07) Rasputina
08) R.E.M.
09) Simon And Garfunkel
10) Nightwish (Blame Mitchell for this one!)
11) Ani Difanco

Ten things about you:

01) I've been in theraphy since I was five. That's a looong time o.o
02) I have a boyfriend.
03) I sleep. Alot.
04) I have no sense of direction, I am the female Ryoga
05) I'm going to marry Orlando Bloom, he just doesn't know it yet. Neither does Mitchell.
06) I still sleep with my baby blanket. It had Babar on it!
07) When I was six my favorite song was Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana. Don't ask.
08) I enjoy Ricky Martin. His music is catchy. So sue me.
09) I'm agnostic. I believe something's up there, but not nessiarly "God". It's complecated.
10) I want to be a man so I can have sex with other men. Weird but true....

Nine good friends:

01) Meagen (Why is she going to Ohio?!)
02) Rachel (She's leaving me too, but not as much)
03) Mitchell (Though he needs to call more. Ah well, baby steps...)
04) Marie (If only we fought less...)
05) Chrissy (We need to get together soon!)
06) Lisa (So do we!)
07) Rae Rae ( You so need to stalk me)
08) Um...
09) Um.....um.....

Eight favorite foods/drinks:

01) Chocolate....mmm...
02) Chunky Monkey Ice Cream
03) Manacotti
04) Shock Tarts
05) Brownies
06) Chicken
07) Cookies
08) Chicken Noodle Soup

Seven things you wear daily:

01) Underwear
02) Bras (Nuisence those things are)
03) Bracelets
04) Watch
05) Necklace
06) Pants
07) Shirt

Six things that annoy you:

01) Britney Spears
02) Clingy people
03) Religion
04) Teenists (people with a prejudice against teenagers. Stop the hate, yo)
05) "Teenage Angst"
06) Broken Trust

Five things you touch everyday:

01) Computer
02) Books
03) Phone
04) Purse
05) Glasses

Four shows you watch:

01) The Simpsons
02) Scrubs
03) Family Guy
04) Futurama

Three celebrities you have a crush on:

01) Johnny Depp
02) Trent Reznor
03) Angelina Jolie

Two people that you have dated:

01) Mitchell
02) Uh...does the Stan thing count?

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:

01) I dunno, I can't think of anyone I like that much o.O Maybe Johnny Depp....

And Yet I Find, Repeating In My Head, If I Can't Be My Own, I'd Feel Better Dead

Dear Daddy,
Today's the twelth anniversy of your death. Did you know that?
I guess you can't. What with being dead and all...But it is.
Even though it's been a very long time, I can still remember that day clearly.
Hearing mommy cry out. Running in to see your lifeless body on the floor. Being carried kicking and screaming to the neibhors as the paramedics came.
Aunt Sally coming to retrieve me, telling me you were dead. As if I could even comprehend what that meant. I was only five you know
Five year olds generally can't comprehend death. I know I didn't.
For a long time I kept waiting for you to come back. And I got angry, because you never did.
I realize now that if you could of, you probably would of came back
Things were never the same after you died
Mommy got sick, really sick, not just physically, but in her head too.
You were her rock, without you, she crumbled. She never recovered.
Sheena just got angerier and angerier. You were more of a father to her then hers ever was, but you left too.
Even if you didn't mean to, the fact remains that you left us
I was put into theraphy, and everything just kinda bottled up
I didn't get along well with the other kids. I couldn't relate to them really.
Could you blame them? I was the kid with a dead parent, it's weird, no one knows how to deal with it.
By the time I was 7, I thought about killing/hurting myself
I guess your death effected me more then they thought, or something. I don't know. Maybe I never will.
It's been so long, yet I think about you alot.
I think about what could of happened if you had lived.
Would Mommy of still broken down? Or would she of gotten better?
Would Sheena gotten involved with drugs?
Would I still try to kill myself? Would I even be depressed?
Would you of liked Mitchell? Would you of been overprotective?
Would you be involved with my school?
Would you do things with me?
Would we get along?
Would we fight?
I guess I'll never know
Everyone says I'm like you.
I get kinda sick of it though
It's like because you're dead, they think I live for you, or something
I want to be my own person
I want to finally let go of you
To let go of this pain that's resided in my chest since I was so very little
And as I write this I already feel the tears forming in my eyes
I want to let go, but I don't know how.
So I guess for now, Happy Death-day Daddy
Love Always,
Your Daughter,
Katie