someone will love you

Wow, have I really not updated this since August? Time flies. Needless to say, I'm in a much better place than I was then. The new medication seems to be helping (other than some random nasty side effects before figuring out the right dose for me) a lot and my therapist even said she thought I could go back down to every other week. Which is good. It's nice...to not be constantly feeling miserable. Like there's still a lot of things to be stressed about it at least feels like a stress I can manage.

I hadn't gone through that bad of a depressive episode in years but it's good to be on the other side of it. It's weird to look back in my journal and some of the things I wrote because it just feels very...removed? It's hard to explain. But it really is such a difference in how I feel. . I think part of what helped too was being more transparent with the people around me of how I was feeling, I was really surprised by how much support I received, and how many people confined in me their own struggles as well, especially a lot of my classmates. It always helps to not feel alone, I guess.


I've been working at an afterschool program tutoring and teaching classes, it's not the kind of teaching I want to do long term but I don't need my masters finished for it and it's good experience to put on my resume. I'm glad I put off retaking my exams, ultimately, there's no way I would have been ready to take them this month.

I'm also looking to move out on my own soon -- assuming I can find a place I can afford that will also let me keep my dog. Which is proving tricky. I've put out feelers to see if anyone I know needs a roommate but so far, no luck. I'll just have to keep looking.

Random fannish stuff:

I went to Leakycon in October and it was one of the best fan experiences I've ever been into. So now I'm listening to Stephen Fry's audiobooks of Harry Potter because I hadn't listened to them before. I've missed Hogwarts. I am, however, really grossed out about the idea of Johnny Depp playing Grindewald in the Fantastic Beasts movies. Can't win them all, I guess.

Season 3 of From Dusk Till Dawn wasn't my favorite but overall still pretty enjoyable, and if that ends up being the finale of the series it could be worse.

I've been really enjoying The Good Place and No Tomorrow as far as new series this season go.


I need this election period to be done with and for a maniac to not be president at the end of it. I don't ask for much, really.

Also I fell down some stairs in Union Station the other day and sprained my ankle. I have all the clumsiness of a romcom protagonist with none of the meet cutes, I swear.

my comprehensive exams are on thursday.

the stress and anxiety is real, you all.

Do you want holiday cards from a Katie? Leave your infor here, comments will be screened.

Name: Who should I address this to? Address: Where am I sending this??? If you don't live in the USA please include what country you do live in Holidays: Do you not celebrate Christmas? Do you want something more general seasony? Do you not care? let me know Allergies: If I include a gift is there anything I need to avoid? Request: Do you want an IC greting? A ghetto oldschool mix cd? Poorly drawn stick figure porn? Leave a request and I'll try to do what I can Post: Do you have a post?? link me pls

It's the middle of the family Christmas celebration and I can't stop crying
I'm so afraid someone is going to find me in here and ask why I'm so upset.
Because I don't even know what to say.
What's wrong with me?
I have no reason to be so upset, and yet, every little thing is setting me off.

Jesus Christ Superstar was amazing. fewfgr Such a good performance. The stage, costumes, lighting and acting, it was all put together so well. Ted Neeley was defininetly getting too old to play Jesus though. It made the scenes between him and Mary Magdalene seem pedoriffic :| And our Judas. GUH GUH GUH. His voice was so fucking awesome, I had to buy his cd afterwards, I might of died without it. Seriously guys you don't even know

James Delisco. Check his stuff out seriously.

And he was so nice when he signed my cd *^*

Now to continue getting my stuff together. Suu time tonight. And Kelsey. And Little Tokyo tomorrow. So much happy.

Also. The more I listen to the Repo! The Genetic soundtrack, the more I realize Shilo and The Repo man are like a more fucked up version of Claire and HRG. Hurr.

Edit: Suu's flight was canceled D: STUPID SNOW

So a B in my Acting Class
A B in my Stage Design class
and a C in my history of Theater class.

+_+ All in all, could have been better, but could have been worse.

In other news, the throwing up as stopped, but my body still hurts from it. I can't remember the last time my stomach felt so sore. I should probably eat at some point, but I'm a little scared to.

And, and I got my card from sohma today. It was so cute, it made me smile despite all the pain. Especially the random little horse drawing X3

I'm so tired of my family treating me like some sort of invalid just because I haven't learned to drive yet.
I wish I could explain the panic I feel every time I'm behind the wheel in a way that made sense to them. That I could make them realize that even thinking about it causes my chest to tighten and hurt. I know I need to learn, but with school I don't really have time, and it would add more stress than it's worth to me. I get around just fine with the bus. Plus, the bus is cheaper, and better for the environment. So is it really such a problem?

In other news? I saw both Bolt and Milk today. Bolt is really cute. And Milk? Guh. Loved, loved, loved that movie. Sean Penn ♥ And James Franco ♥ Not to mention, Harvey Milk is one of my favorite political figures ever.

And the Twinkie defense? Seriously? Wtf.

So headache + pain meds + insomonia = more fooling around with WMM. I need to find a better movie editor thing. I do think I'm getting better at this though. Perhaps. This is a little softer view on the couple than the last one.

Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Sylar/Elle
Song: Milk by Garbage